Once you identify the things that may influence the way you feel about yourself, you can start to address these. Many of them are probably practical things. For example, if you are upset about restrictions on your life because of your seizures, talk to people who can help you put things into perspective. There may be things you can do to adjust to the changes. This might be an adjustment to your job or leisure activities. Don’t give up. Don’t listen to well-meaning people who tell you that you can no longer do certain things without good reason.
Remember that you are more than your epilepsy and you don’t have to be defined by it. If you act confidently, people will react in a more positive way towards you.
How you think about your life and other people can affect your emotions, feelings and behaviour. Therefore, changing the way you feel and behave. A counsellor can help you work through this in more detail.
Try some simple steps towards changing the way you think, feel and act. Practising just some of these steps on a regular basis can make a big difference.
- Stop negative thoughts.
Especially before they turn into destructive statements. Some people find that saying ‘no’ aloud helps to stop these thoughts. Replace them with positive thoughts. Over time this will become a habit and you will start to feel better. - If you feel overwhelmed by a situation break it down into small manageable chunks.
What was the situation that made you feel anxious? What did you think at the time? How did this make you feel? How did you react? Could you have thought differently at the time? Would this have changed the way you felt? Realising that you can chose your own thoughts can be powerful. - Focus on good.
Ask a friend to help you list all that’s good and bad in your life. When you are down it’s easy to see only the bad things. A friend can remind you of all the positive things in your life. Once you have a list of all the good things, remind yourself of this several times a day. If you do this for a while, you will automatically focus on the positive. - Imagine a friend in the same situation as you are. Then imagine giving them advice.
What would you say to them? Try to be as objective as possible. This will allow you to step back and look at your situation in a slightly different way. Then follow your own advice and be the expert on your own life. - Take responsibility for your actions.
Accept that you are responsible for every decision you make, and for every action you take. Realising this can be very empowering. You don’t have to be passive but can play an active role in what happens to you. - Learn how to deal with criticism.
Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. You will miss the point of helpful criticism if you immediately take it personally. Criticism when it’s justified can be an opportunity for you to learn. Be open to this kind of criticism, and react calmly. - Learn how to deal with anger in a healthy way.
Being angry is a normal emotion. How you express this though can make a big difference. There are many different techniques you can learn on how to manage your anger better. Recognise when you are angry. Try to keep calm and think about the situation first. Check out the facts – are they correct? If not walk away from the situation. Uncontrolled anger can be destructive to both yourself and those around you.
Other ways to help yourself
We hope by reviewing this section of our site that you recognise that it is normal for epilepsy to be associated with strong emotions. There is help if you need it through our team and events, but there are also many more things you can do to take control of your life again.
It’s important to remember that stress or anxiety can be a common trigger for seizures in many people. So, if you learn to control this aspect of your life, you may remove a contributing factor to your seizures. You may find after a while that you have fewer seizures.
Epilepsy is an individual condition and you need to find what works best for you. Here are some tips we have heard that others have found useful from supporting people with epilepsy across Ireland.
- Know as much as possible about your epilepsy.
The more you know the less scary it is. There are a range of resources across our website to help you with this, as well as through our support services - Be aware of how you approach your epilepsy.
Stop it from being the focus of your life. It’s part of you but there is a lot more to you than epilepsy. - Find out if you have any seizure triggers.
Avoiding them may prevent some seizures and therefore prevent the impact seizures can have on your emotional health and wellbeing - Take responsibility for your own health.
Eating a healthy balanced diet, taking regular exercise and getting plenty of sleep can have a positive impact on how you feel. It can also help to reduce seizures. - Be confident.
Let others know what you want or don’t want. Learn to express yourself with confidence. Learn to stand up for yourself. Being confident also means learning to feel good about yourself. - Reward yourself.
Whenever you have achieved something, treat yourself to something you enjoy. This can help you focus more on the things you do well rather than those you don’t. - Keep a diary of your moods, in the same way you keep a diary of your seizures.
Write down what you do to counter those moods and if it is successful. This will help you learn to recognise what works for you. - Learn how to use breathing exercises to let go of tension.
When you are stressed, your breathing becomes shallow. If this goes on for a long period of time, this can prevent the oxygen levels that are circulating around your body. This in turn can affect your health and energy levels. When you feel stressed, take some slow and deep breaths. Make time to do this several times a day. - Take time to relax.
Many of us are constantly on the go, trying to do too many things at the same time. This can put you out of touch with how you feel. Allocating an amount of time to relax every day is important. Simply going for a walk can change the way you feel. Some people enjoy meditation, yoga or tai chi as a way of relaxing and winding down. Find what works best for you and take regular time out for yourself. This will make your life less stressful and will improve your health and wellbeing. - Explore how complementary therapies can help you to relax.
Check with your doctor or epilepsy nurse to make sure the therapy you chose is safe for you. - Do things you enjoy.
Take up a hobby or leisure activity. Try gardening, join a walking club, go dancing, play golf….. there’s something for you to get involved in. If you feel isolated because of your epilepsy, choose an activity where you meet other people. Your doctor or nurse can advise you if it is safe. - Help other people.
Feeling needed is important. Contact your local volunteer centre to see how you can get involved with helping others. Remember that everyone has something to contribute. Epilepsy Ireland regularly has volunteering opportunities as part of awareness and fundraising campaigns - so be sure to follow our social media channels, sign up to our monthly email update to see ways how you can get involved.