Floor beneath my feet

'Floor beneath my feet' image

By Lorraine Lally, Galway
@lorraine_lally

I now have a new appreciation for the floor, all floors regardless of whether they are wooden, tiled or carpeted. It is like the inner carpenter in me has been released as a result of my condition.

The seizure exhausts me but the thought of the fall consumes me. You cannot fall off the floor but by God you can be badly injured by the existence of the floor. I sometimes imagine a gravity free room where I will be free from the fall and the floor. Where I will never fall again. It is hard to understand if you don't have epilepsy.

The injuries of the fall persist long after the muscles jerking and you are fully conscious living your life. I once stood at a bus stop in Harold's Cross where an elderly woman looked and smiled then hugged me and told me that I should 'leave him'. I was shell shocked and had not thought of what my bruises meant to the world at large.

I put all my energy into moving forward and walking tall. But all the while never forgetting the floor beneath my feet I notice small hallways that could be a tight squeeze for me. When I feel a seizure coming I go to bed but that still has not stopped the broken ribs, bruises, and bumps. I am better off on the floor and that is the lesson that we all learn from the seizures we endure. On entering your home I mentally check the mat, the tile, the wooden floor's make and model just in case. I see it in a way you never will it is the place that will catch me when I fall. It is the floor beneath my feet.